What do I do if I think my spouse is cheating?


Marriages should be built on love, trust, and mutual respect. Suspicions of infidelity can shatter the foundation of trust and create emotional turmoil. If you suspect that your spouse is cheating, it is important to handle the situation carefully and seek proper guidance.

  1. Assess Your Emotions

When suspicions of infidelity arise, emotions can run high and cloud your judgment, resulting in rash decisions that may not be in your best interest. Before taking any action, it is best to take a step back and evaluate your feelings. Understand that your emotions are valid, but it is best not to act impulsively in ways that have the potential to make the situation worse.

  1. Gather Evidence Discreetly

If you genuinely believe that your spouse might be cheating, it is usually not wise to immediately confront them. Instead, gather evidence discreetly. Evidence of your spouse’s infidelity may become relevant in matters such as child custody, financial support, and asset division. A reputable private investigator may be helpful.

Ensure you do not violate any laws or breach your spouse’s privacy while collecting evidence. Avoid hacking into personal accounts or accessing private information without their knowledge. Do not use keylogger software. Do not record conversations in which you are not a participant (in certain jurisdictions you should also avoid recording conversations without the consent of all other participants). Do not place a tracker on a vehicle unless your name is on the title of the vehicle.

  1. Seek Professional Advice

Navigating a situation in which there is potential infidelity can be emotionally challenging, and you do not have to go through it alone. Reach out to a family law attorney with experience in handing sensitive matters such as this. An attorney can provide you with personalized advice based on the laws that apply in your situation.

  1. Consider Counseling

Before making any life-altering decisions, consider counseling, both as a couple and as an individual. Professional marriage counseling can provide a safe space for both partners to discuss their concerns, emotions, and challenges, Sometimes, a couple can work through their issues and rebuild trust with the guidance of a skilled therapist. Even if you do not participate in marriage counseling as a couple, individual counseling may help you process your emotions, learn to set boundaries, communicate more effectively, and make the best decisions for your future.

  1. Protect Your Finances

Infidelity can impact more than just the emotional aspects of a relations; it can also have financial repercussions. Safeguard your financial interests by gathering documentation of your assets, income, and expenses. If necessary, consult with a financial advisor to better understand your financial situation and ensure your financial security. If you do not have a bank account and/or credit card in your own name, it may be wise to take steps to establish accounts in your own name.

  1. Prioritize the Well Being of Your Children

If you have children, their well-being should be a top priority throughout this difficult time. Shield your children from any conflicts between you and your spouse. Avoid speaking negatively about your spouse to your children or in your children’s presence. If you suspect your spouse’s actions are negatively affecting the children, consult with your attorney to determine the appropriate steps to ensure their safety and well-being.


Suspecting your spouse of infidelity is a difficult and emotionally taxing experience. As a family law attorney in Alabama, I urge you to approach this situation thoughtfully and seek professional advice. Remember to prioritize your emotional well-being and your children. If you find yourself in this situation, do not hesitate to reach out for support. An experienced family law attorney can provide the knowledge and understanding necessary to help you make informed decisions about your future.

Rebekah L. Graham, Esq.


This blog is made available for educational purposes only as well as to give you general information and a general understanding of the law, not to provide specific legal advice. By using this blog site, you understand that there is no attorney client relationship between you and the attorneys at Rebekah L. Graham & Associates. The blog should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney in your state.

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